They say

"I only need to look at a pizza to put on two pounds" - TV's Kirstie Allsopp. "I don't know one end of a saucepan from the other. I'm not joking. I have only just learned how to work my oven and I've had it since last April" - Actress Anne Reid who plays a cook in Upstairs, Downstairs. "I'm a typical Catholic. I feel guilty about everything and spend all my time apologising" - Actress Jessica Alba (pictured).

"I've always thought John Prescott was like Les Dawson without the jokes, the warmth, the intelligence or the personality" - Commentator Richard Littlejohn.

"It is a continuing scandal that Rolling Stone 'Keef' Richards has not been made at the very least a knight bachelor" - Boris Johnson, Mayor of London.